Ramblings of Thoughts in my Head
Usually I am happy with who I am and love my uniqueness. Some days though, that little voice inside tries to get the better of me and convince me I don't fit in and don't belong.
Well, I try to remind it that 1) I don't want to fit in, I wasn't made to fit in, God made me an original and why would I want to be anything else, and as for 2) not belonging...that one I struggle with even more. I try not to listen. I go back and forth on my thoughts for this. And please don't take this the wrong, I'm content with life here...but Earth is not my forever home. So maybe I'm not suppose to feel like I belong here.
The end result is eternity in Heaven (as a Christian this is my belief but obviously may or may not be yours, please be respectful). Heaven is where I belong....Earth is a holding place. This thought gives me comfort. I don't mean for this to sound morbid or depressing in any way. Just a little bit of a heavier thinking kind of moment. Processing if you will. I wonder if others ever feel similarly. I'm grateful for life here as we know it although I don't always enjoy or like the experiences...things can get pretty intense.
There's so much I want to say, so much I don't know how to express in words and I definitely can't verbally but I don't yet know how.
I feel like such an inadequate human. I want so much to be a vessel of God's light and love but the truth is, I'm so weak when temptation comes. I give in so easily to the ways of the world. I keep praying for strength but if I'm honest sometimes I don't want to give up certain things or I desire to participate in certain activities. I'm weak and a betrayer. Maybe someday I'll be stronger, with God's help. I hope so.
Well, I try to remind it that 1) I don't want to fit in, I wasn't made to fit in, God made me an original and why would I want to be anything else, and as for 2) not belonging...that one I struggle with even more. I try not to listen. I go back and forth on my thoughts for this. And please don't take this the wrong, I'm content with life here...but Earth is not my forever home. So maybe I'm not suppose to feel like I belong here.
The end result is eternity in Heaven (as a Christian this is my belief but obviously may or may not be yours, please be respectful). Heaven is where I belong....Earth is a holding place. This thought gives me comfort. I don't mean for this to sound morbid or depressing in any way. Just a little bit of a heavier thinking kind of moment. Processing if you will. I wonder if others ever feel similarly. I'm grateful for life here as we know it although I don't always enjoy or like the experiences...things can get pretty intense.
There's so much I want to say, so much I don't know how to express in words and I definitely can't verbally but I don't yet know how.
I feel like such an inadequate human. I want so much to be a vessel of God's light and love but the truth is, I'm so weak when temptation comes. I give in so easily to the ways of the world. I keep praying for strength but if I'm honest sometimes I don't want to give up certain things or I desire to participate in certain activities. I'm weak and a betrayer. Maybe someday I'll be stronger, with God's help. I hope so.
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