Letters to God

Hello Father God, As usual it's been awhile since I've come here (or anywhere) to write to you. I sort of half talk to you and half listen but that's not really what it should be about.  You want my whole heart, my whole attention...and I really struggle to give it. In fairness...or perhaps, excuse...I struggle with all relationships. My own self, my family, my friends, and very obviously with You. Lately you've been putting a particular program on my radar more and more. You've given me signs in more than one way that this is an avenue I should be seriously considering....and committing to.  Do you know how terrifying that is for me?  Of course You do....but.  Oh but....but what FPD (self)...it's time to stop making excuses but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified. Afraid of what I might uncover, afraid of the process and the what if's, afraid of hurting more, afraid of failing You or myself or someone else....though I know I have already faile